Listen: Lauryn Hill - Ex- Factor (1998)
For years I struggled in relationships. For years I was unhappy. Crying tear after salty tear, but I have a confession. As some of you may know, I am in a new relationship and this man - he made me cry too. Too good to be true, huh? Well hold on don't go too far with the assumptions. I cried alright. I cried tears of joy. Once I sowed tears of sorrow but now I reap tears of joy.
For years, I wanted to gain a few extra pounds. I wanted to be slim thick. I remember telling a guy I once dated that I wished I was a little thicker. In high school, I was 20 pounds heavier, but at this time in my life I was only a couple years shy of my 10 year high school reunion and I couldn't gain weight to save my life. The on-again, off-again situation with this guy had me always crying and always stressed. I remember one time I was leaning over to grab something and he sounded disgusted, when he asked, I thought you were trying to gain weight? I thought, wow, really? I probably would gain weight if I wasn't stressing myself out over this half-baked situation. Flash forward to today and I gained 10 pounds and I didn't even try. It's funny how happiness with someone who loves you regardless of your physical appearance can bring out just about your every other desire in you as well. I think I'm back on the road to slim thick after all.
For weeks, I've been contemplating, what do I want to say to you? How do I want to say it? I've been praying, God, what do you want me to share with your Single Ladies? Then, the light bulb flickers, and finally it turns on. I know! I got it! Gods process works EVERY SINGLE TIME. You cannot fail with God when you do it His way and at His perfect timing. As you may know I've been pouring blood, sweat and literal tears into a labor of love, this project this book, this guide for you, Single Ladies! A book that says I'm a single woman and I've been through some things. Well, to be honest, a lot of things as I'm sure you have too. Those things have me feeling some type of way about men, about how I view myself and how I desire to live my life.
Now I found myself with this dilemma. What's my dilemma? I'm no longer single, at least not in the sense of on the dating scene or on the prowl for the next big thing. Ok, don't let me lose you here, Single Ladies. Believe me, if you're in a relationship this book is for you, if you're not looking for a relationship, single as a dollar bill, dating for fun, playing footsies with the father of your children, or even engaged it's for you. I'll tell you why.
I contemplated with advertising my relationship on social media. Not because I was creeping, hiding him, desiring to keep my options open, or keeping it on the low, but because I thought if I'm not single how am I relatable? I've been single so long, I questioned if it was apart of my brand? Of course, I'm still single by legal standards being I'm not yet married. I say yet because I'm speaking it into fruition. I'm not yet engaged either. See how I threw that in there again? I'm not guaranteeing I'm marrying my current beau, but I'm claiming God has a God-given husband in my future.
Any who, I digress. My dilemma concluded, shouldn't I portray to be a single women, by all definitions marriage, relationship or any other? Then, I thought why wouldn't I be a testimony of finding self-love, then healing to find freedom and my purpose. Hint hint, this is the epitome of my book.
I would like my Single Ladies to realize as this book ministers to you, recognize the process of writing it ministered to me. As I wrote each devotion, I traveled the spiritual journey to healing! Healing from every painful relationship, situationship, and any other thang I once claimed. It brought me to this very moment where I can accept a healthy relationship. This was a direct product of devoting myself to God's process and His Word. The process I hope many of you, Single Ladies, will take on as well.
As I reflect on my last 6 months of bliss, I can't wait for you to start 2017 off on a journey to better love and complete healing with freedom and purpose. Upon completion of this journey, who knows what 2017 has in store for you? It may be your own book or your own healthy relationship. I can make you no promises, but I do know committing yourself to this journey will lead you on the path to something great! I'm beyond excited for you! I just hope you share your testimonies with me because I can't wait to hear them!